My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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