its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
