Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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