She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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