I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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