So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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