Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
