I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Randomize
