This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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