I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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