i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
