you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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