So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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