so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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