stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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