I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
