After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Randomize
