I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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