They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Bring me that man meat
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
