I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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