its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
