you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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