I cut my penus on the lid.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
