It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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