I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
