Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
