Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
