well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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