Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
