He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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