for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
