is your mom at the bar?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I said "one day" and that day is not today
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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