just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
