Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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