What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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