they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
