He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
