Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
