I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
