i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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