Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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