Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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