I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
