Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
