why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
