I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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