She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
