just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
