I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
