Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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