i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
