I'm eating all of the evidence.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i think my cat just said my name.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
